Last week as my friend and I were praying together, I asked her to stand in agreement with me that God will make me a suitable mate (while I am waiting to be found). I want to be the answer to a man’s prayers. I don’t want him to ever feel like he settled for me.
A few years ago, this same friend and I each made a list of what we desire in a mate. At the top of her list was that he would be able to pick her up without falling; which is funny because she is a petite woman. But, that was a good one, so I added that to my list as well. Then I pondered, “How strong would he have to be to pick me up?” While I want him to be able to lift me up without falling (or injury), am I being realistic considering my current size? More importantly, what am I willing to do to make this more attainable while I’m waiting???
We should love ourselves, true. But, that includes loving ourselves enough to admit there are some things we need to work on – not to please others – but to ensure we are whole, healthy (mentally and physically), and happy with ourselves. Also, if the thing we want requires something of us, we have to ask ourselves, “How bad do you want it?” Sometimes, we have to put in some work for the things we desire. In the meantime, let’s not expect others to settle for us (when we are not settled with ourselves).
Example: If a man is adamant that he is not interested in a plus-size woman, then I am probably not his choice – and that’s okay. Why would I try to change his mind, or convince him to choose me? I have two choices: 1) Try to lose weight in hopes of gaining this man’s attention after the weight loss; or 2) acknowledge that losing weight is a great overall benefit for my life and health. THAT should be my motivation, not to please a man, or anyone else for that matter. When the time is right, the RIGHT man will notice and appreciate all of me.
I learned this a long time ago: Whatever we have to do to obtain something, we must do to retain it. Meaning – in this scenario, I would potentially find myself always trying to prove my worth to this (hypothetical) man; and it may never be good enough for him. Nope! I say: “Don’t Settle For Me.”
A big part of being a confident and mature individual, is understanding that we all have areas in our lives that may need improvement. We may not be everyone’s cup of tea – and that’s okay. However, we should never stop working to be the best version of ourselves. Then, we can confidently say, to anyone who doesn’t think we are good enough, “Don’t Settle For Me.”
So, That Settles It. When you know your worth, you surround yourself with people who celebrate you and not those who simply tolerate you. Tell all the people who don’t believe you are enough: “Don’t Settle For Me” – and Free Yourself!
You’re beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless.
~Song of Solomon 4:7 MSG