“Don’t Settle For Me”

Last week as my friend and I were praying together, I asked her to stand in agreement with me that God will make me a suitable mate (while I am waiting to be found). I want to be the answer to a man’s prayers. I don’t want him to ever feel like he settled for me. 

A few years ago, this same friend and I each made a list of what we desire in a mate. At the top of her list was that he would be able to pick her up without falling; which is funny because she is a petite woman. But, that was a good one, so I added that to my list as well. Then I pondered, “How strong would he have to be to pick me up?” While I want him to be able to lift me up without falling (or injury), am I being realistic considering my current size? More importantly, what am I willing to do to make this more attainable while I’m waiting???

We should love ourselves, true. But, that includes loving ourselves enough to admit there are some things we need to work on – not to please others – but to ensure we are whole, healthy (mentally and physically), and happy with ourselves. Also, if the thing we want requires something of us, we have to ask ourselves, “How bad do you want it?” Sometimes, we have to put in some work for the things we desire. In the meantime, let’s not expect others to settle for us (when we are not settled with ourselves).

Example: If a man is adamant that he is not interested in a plus-size woman, then I am probably not his choice – and that’s okay. Why would I try to change his mind, or convince him to choose me? I have two choices: 1) Try to lose weight in hopes of gaining this man’s attention after the weight loss; or 2) acknowledge that losing weight is a great overall benefit for my life and health. THAT should be my motivation, not to please a man, or anyone else for that matter. When the time is right, the RIGHT man will notice and appreciate all of me.

I learned this a long time ago: Whatever we have to do to obtain something, we must do to retain it. Meaning – in this scenario, I would potentially find myself always trying to prove my worth to this (hypothetical) man; and it may never be good enough for him. Nope! I say: “Don’t Settle For Me.”

A big part of being a confident and mature individual, is understanding that we all have areas in our lives that may need improvement. We may not be everyone’s cup of tea – and that’s okay. However, we should never stop working to be the best version of ourselves. Then, we can confidently say, to anyone who doesn’t think we are good enough, “Don’t Settle For Me.”

So, That Settles It. When you know your worth, you surround yourself with people who celebrate you and not those who simply tolerate you. Tell all the people who don’t believe you are enough: “Don’t Settle For Me” – and Free Yourself! 

You’re beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless.                                                                                             

~Song of Solomon 4:7 MSG

“Remember Your Name”

I remember a while ago, probably somewhere around 2009, there was a lady at my job who cooked delicious meals from her home (Trinidad), and sold them. She would take your name and order during the week and on Friday her husband delivered the meals hot and ready to eat. One week, while we were laughing and having a good time, I placed my order and in the name section I wrote “Queen.” Fast forward to that Friday. Her husband arrived and began handing out dinners. I waited patiently for him to find my order with my name (Shawndell). I was getting a little discouraged, thinking they possibly forgot my meal. After he gave everyone else their orders, there was only one left – the name on it: “Queen.” I had totally forgotten that was the name I gave with my order. Note to self: Remember Your Name!


This story came to mind recently and (after laughing at myself) I thought about how I wouldn’t have waited so long to get my food if I remembered what I wrote. It reminded me of how oftentimes, we ask God for something, and because it doesn’t come immediately, if we’re not careful, we forget what we asked. Then when it shows up, we don’t recognize it. See, I asked for a meal for a “Queen;” but when it showed up, I was looking for something for Shawndell. They didn’t change anything – I did. When I placed the order, apparently I felt like a Queen; but when the order arrived, for some reason, I couldn’t see or feel my crown. Let me paint the picture for you. Depending on what we’re facing, many (not all) of us fall into one of the categories below:

When things are going wellI will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well (Psalms 139:14).


During times of testing and trialsMy God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me…(Psalms 22:1)?

wretched 2

MESSAGE: God does not change His mind! He’s not fickle (we are). If He said it, then That Settles It.

Don’t just take my word for it. God addressed Mary as “Highly favored and blessed among women. Even though I’m sure she probably didn’t feel that way at the time – trying to figure out how to tell people she is a virgin who will give birth to the Messiah (Luke 1:28).  

Gideon, who saw himself as “the least in his father’s house, yet God called him “Mighty man of valor.” He went on to defeat a massive army with only 300 men (Judges 6 & 7). 

Jesus told Peter “Thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” Please note: That didn’t change, not even after Peter denied Him. Remember, Peter went on to preach at Pentecost and about 3,000 souls were saved that day (Matthew 16:18; Luke 22; Acts 2).

And we dare not forget Jesus, whom God introduced to the world as “My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleasedand we know what Jesus suffered after this; but we also know He Reigns (Read Matthew 3:17). 

So That Settles It. What I want you to take away from this little stroll down memory lane is: You are who God says you are – even when you don’t feel like it – even when your situation doesn’t look like it – Remember Your Name.

And because I am a Realist – if you just can’t seem to Remember Your Name, then Remember His Name:

Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father (Philippians 2:9-11).

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